Hi, my name is Back. I am Back.

Yes, yes, I know. I’ve been gone for a little while. Ok, a lot while. Maybe even a plethora of while. But my feet are back flat on the ground and I’ve got band-aids on my head, my heart, and my big toe. It’s gonna be alright. And I’m gonna start bliggety-blogging again. Do I hear an applause? A roar of approval? Hooting and a-hollerin’? Yes, yes. Yes, I do.

In my attempt to get the juicer out and fresh-squeeze some creativity (get it?! creative juices??), I figure I’ll go light n’ easy and simply post some of the things I really laughed at this week. Don’t worry, out of the kindness of my heart, I won’t list your name. 

• my mother, the conspiracy theorist. this week she warned me of stalkers plotting my every move at Barnes & Noble. folks, that’s only the tip of the iceberg. you gotta hear some of her other ones (e.g., Japanese communists poisoning my edamame). seriously. i’ve devoted a blog category specifically for them. it’s called “conspiracies.”
• Sarah Palin kicking tail in the veep debate. it was one of those relief-shock-awe laughs.
• the BBC’s article on the 7-year old Australian that bludgeon a zoo’s rare and expensive reptiles and fed them to the crocodiles. no one noticed his anti-Irwin rampage until 30 minutes later when the kid approached the ice cream stand asking for more chameleons and when denied, settled for a napkin to wipe the guts off his hands and the smirk off his face. i tell you, the BBC is often a great source of humor (e.g., Hari Puttar and this).
• my song about Nate’s chocolate pie. it was original, it was spontaneous, and it was a rap. what can beat that? sometimes i sit back and thank God for the rap talent He’s given me. Shout out!
• and lastly but not leastly, a 2nd grader telling me she knew why i wasn’t married. “you’re not old enough.” yes, my child, that is the reason.

folks, i’m Back. it’s been a pleasure. good night everybody!

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the best part is the mannequin safety demonstration

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