Uhhhmmmmm… who writes this Christian curriculum?

Whether he realizes or not, my brother, Cory (a worship pastor with his kids in a private Christian school), just became my guest blogger. I converted his recent email to me into my newest blog entry:

So, I have a 5 year old who is grown up beyond her years, and I know this, so not much truly shocks me.  But, this week I had the surprise of my life.  She was doing her homework and reading it loud and proud.  It was a study on the letters “d” and “f”.  There would be a picture, and she would have to circle either the d or the f depending on which one the picture started with.  And of course, she would read them all out loud because they were funny to hear.  First there was “deather” “feather”, for the picture of the feather.  Then there was the picture of the dog, and of course loud and proud she reads “dog” “fog” again laughing at the funniness that was ensuing.  Nothing however could have prepared me for what happened next.  Still as loud and proud as before, she looked at the picture of the duck, and being that we had laughed with her at the other funny names, with even more zeal she proudly read “duck” “f***”!
Don’t you know the writer of Abeka’s curriculum is laughing his ass off right now!!!

Part 2: He is here for the hurting and broken

After yesterday’s post, I decided to add part 2 for all those hurting and broken in their world right now. We’ve all been there. We’ve all felt the gritty sands blowing around us in the desert times. But we can also learn the peace of the Spirit of God in the middle of our sorrows. We can learn to emerge triumphant in the strength of Jesus.

Here is the documentary for Desert Song, another worshipful addition to Hillsong’s latest album, This is Our God. The song immediately follows the documentary in the following video.

He is here for the sick and the dying

It is an eternal theme and urging to worship in spirit and in truth. It is stirring in my heart, in the heart of our church and worship ministry, in our leaders, in our lives. Lift God, lift Jesus higher and higher. In all seasons, in all pain and hurt, and all triumph and prosperity, lift our Lord as he deserves the highest place.

Hillsong’s latest live album, This is Our God, was released recently and beats with heaven’s heart. Glorify God. Here is a documentary on the album as a whole as well as one specific song, Healer. Take 9 minutes out of your day to watch this.

 

And here is the song, Healer, sung by Mike & the Hillsong team.

the water pump is working again

I have a very obvious tell when it comes to intimacy with God. I’ve realized over the last couple years that as long as I’m seeking God, searching Him out, desiring more of Him, I’m singing. Not necessarily on stage…just singing here and there without even realizing it. It’s an unstoppable well when I’m spiritually lit, and it’s a sure sign that I’ve neglected my first Love when the songs cease, when the well dries up. It’s as if my spirit is communing with God subconsciously throughout the day. And as I do so, I find my spirit soaring. In these times (whether they are difficult times or not), God gives me new and personal worship songs to sing to Him. They may never be published, copyrighted or recorded. They may never be heard by more than the audience of One. They are solely His and I sing them for Him the moment they come to me.  

However, some of the other songs He gives me I believe He wants me to share. One day. They’ve been accumulating over the last two years and, with the fresh life God has given me, have resurfaced. We’ll see.

 

 

All I know is I am grateful for the life once again coursing through my body.

My spirit is free to sing to You!!!

oh happy day

Today I found a long-lost prized possession. I haven’t seen it for years, probably 5-6 years in fact. It represents many childhood memories, many emotional tear-filled moments, many friendships, many hours spent in front of the tube with the VCR while it cranked out my favorite movie of my younger years. What, you ask, is so special to my heart?! My “Beaches” soundtrack!!! I’m typing this blog with Bette serenading me in the background. Pure delight!

I know of at least one other person that shared this childhood passion (even to the point of cops being called out to her house because she was belting out Bette tunes too loudly. Ask her.) Yes, I thrived off of “Wind Beneath My Wings,” and maybe even “Baby Mine” or “The Glory of Love.” And more so, I always felt like I could relate to Bette’s character, CC Bloom. Oh the movie. Oh the memories. Any more Beaches fans out there?!?!

So what was your favorite movie as a child?

my favorite author and his song

If ever you feel unfulfilled or unsatisfied with what life appears to be, if ever you are searching for something past the superficial veils, beneath the surface of our skin, read C.S. Lewis. Even as an adult, every book in the Narnia series moves me to long for my Savior more, to have what Lucy had with Aslan or to know him in the many forms he takes, the many ways he reveals himself. Other books of his you must read: The Great Divorce and Mere Christianity. Yes, there are boatloads of books and short stories by this man, a man who seemed to know God in a unique way and who penned that relationship for us to consume years later. But these fit the point of the song below. Take time to read and mull over the lyrics of Brooke Fraser’s song. Like the Narnia series, and the 2 books mentioned above, it’ll have you craving something more than ourselves and our worlds. Our Maker, our Savior, and our Love.

Brooke Fraser’s ‘C.S. Lewis Song’

If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
I can only conclude that I was not made for here
If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary,
then of course I’ll feel nude when to where I’m destined I’m compared

Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan as I wait for hope to come for me

Am I lost or just less found? On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way?
Is this a soul that stirs in me, is it breaking free, wanting to come alive?
‘Cause my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
And avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become

For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath, so we better breathe it
And I, I was made to live, I was made to love, I was made to know you
Hope is coming for me
Hope, He’s coming

ages 12 and under

whaddya do when you can’t sleep at 4-flippin-a.m.? blog.

here are some of the first memories that come to my mind when i remember these ages in my life:

3 years old: learning to read with my mother’s help on her bed; taking a nap in my pre-pre-kindergarten class on those colorful mats, balled up and shivering as i didn’t have a blanket (you had to bring your own or pay extra for one), and then feeling so taken care of when the teacher covered me with a blanket as i pretended to sleep; wishing my best friend at the time would move back from mexico, seeing it happen shortly thereafter, and thinking along the lines of ‘i thought this into existence’

4 years old: not being able to pronounce my r’s properly and being so frightened to get up in front of the class to recite my colors (i couldn’t say purple); wearing a dark blue peacoat in the winter, having a runny nose, and wiping all my snot up and down the sleeves till they were streaked; sticking q-tips in my ears to play alien, forgetting they were there, and then jumping head-first onto my parents’ bed, busting my eardrum

kindergarten: some kid tattle-tailing on me that i had my eyes open during class prayer (and not realizing that if he saw me with my eyes open during prayer then the punk had his eyes open, too); my mom teaching me how to calculate 10% of numbers in order to tithe; playing the alien ‘we gotcha’ atari game (joysticks!) with my brothers; my mom’s taco salad

1st grade: sighing really loud as my teacher told us we were learning how to multiply (i already knew how to do this and wanted to make sure everyone in the class knew how much smarter i was and how bored i was with the current subject matter. me=punk); my first competitive track meet and wearing my red school shirt and little white shorts

2nd grade: replicating a guitar with my class chair (the kind with a hole in the back) by using rubber bands as guitar ’strings’ and driving my teacher mad as i got the whole class to follow suit; the book-it club; jimmy potter stealing my pink slap-wrist bracelet; getting shivers up and down my body each time the teacher hit our desks with her yardstick; realizing cabbage patch dolls did not grow in nearby cabbage fields

3rd grade: my first basketball team, tiny hands, and the inability to convert on fast break lay-ups; trying to convince a classmate that the easter bunny was not real; guilt-tripping a girl into giving me the other half of her 2-part best friends necklace

4th grade: dunking a nerf football into the monkey bar openings with my friend, nate; the p.e. teacher that looked like he swallowed a basketball; oregon trail

5th grade: watching my brother’s high school basketball games; impressing my teacher with my perfect cursive; really getting into spanish soap operas i couldn’t understand (our live-in maid slept in the same room as me and stayed up late watching these shows); early mornings, pink and purple running shorts with spandex underneath, 5K road races, trophies, and blue ribbons

stay tuned: middle school, high school, and beyond are still to come

now it is your chance to share some of your most vivid childhood memories…

pure

She stepped past the threshold and trembled with boldness,

looked up to the clouds that poured out their rain.

Her sin, like mascara, streamed off towards the mud

Washed in the torrent, the fall down of grace.

- – -

Jesus: “Where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?”

Adulteress: “No one, Lord.” 

Jesus: “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.” 

from john chapter 8, verses 1 through 11

corrected & redirected

I received a timely e-newsletter tonight. It was from Hillsong Music letting me know about new releases, pre-orders, and other deals. While I’m always interested in the outputs of a place I call “my first home,” I was drawn more-so tonight to the free teaching download from Robert Fergusson. While at leadership college in Sydney, I undoubtedly loved Robert’s style, character, and demeanor the most. Today I still consider him my favorite Bible teacher (RT Kendall is definitely up there too). Needless to say, I ordered the download and spent the next 40 minutes experiencing (yet again) the grace of God.

I might call the last 9 months of my existence an unfortunate pregnancy. From September till now, I’ve allowed the non-fruits of the Spirit to take root within my heart and soul. I willingly became a host to the sin of not loving God with all my heart, soul, mind, strength. In the roar of life, school, and work I loved my Self and my Wants and my Life more than loving anyone else. I was becoming the Christian that attends church on Sundays and Wednesdays, helps out volunteering, hangs out with fellow church-goers, but doesn’t spend a drop of time in prayer and in the Word throughout the week. It hasn’t gone unnoticed in my eyes. I am fully aware, fully conscious, fully guilty. But a chasm separates the cliffs of knowledge from those of repentance. Only those who choose to actually walk the rough wooden bridge, each plank dripping with the blood of Jesus, experience a changed heart. For 9 months I’ve toed the edge of the cliff of analytical reason, stubbornly refusing to take a step of faith. No wonder I’m searching desperately for my identity. In my quest to find Me, I’ve wandered away from God, the One all individual fulfillment lies in. 

I longed – at the end of Robert’s message – with a heart craving its maker. I cried with repentant tears when Robert gave an altar call. There were no people to witness my hands up in the air or my knees on the floor. It was just me and my gracious Father.

For the first time in a long time my heart feels tender again, willing to change, desperate to spend time with Him. I’ve wanted to be used by God, but I must first be made usable, pliable, humble, obedient. I want to be back in His presence, serving Him, loving on Him, rejoicing with Him, worshipping Him, and living a life of faith-filled adventure with Him. I just want to be His again as I’ve found I’m a lousy keeper of myself.

eye-spy an eye-witness to my eye-dentity

I figured I should blog since I haven’t for about a week now. This one is just uninspired, uncreative, and simply for unleashing my mind.

It is very apparent and real that I’m searching for who I am, what makes up the insides of me, my heart, my brain, my personality. I’m on a kick right now trying to discover (scientifically and analytically) that definition.

• In the last week, I’ve checked out books on personality and career profiles to match those personalities (such as Do What You Are, a must-read according to a highly respected professor of mine). 
• Additionally I’m reading another book (Never Be Lied to Again) on how to read people in hopes that I’ll gain an upper hand on my communication skills. Don’t worry. I’m not a compulsive liar and am not paranoid that I’m lied to every second of the day; I just want to know how to read people’s tells.
• Soon I will read another book on utilizing those learned skills through persuasive communication. (That professor also highly recommended Artful Persuasion, one I’ll eventually get my paws on.)
• Tonight I took 2 different IQ tests (just refer to me as ‘nerd,’ not because of a brainy score, but because of the fact that I had to take the IQ test to fulfill the compulsive urge and then take a different one in order to verify the validity of the score).
• In addition to those 2 tests I also took 2 personality tests tonight. The Myer Briggs test labeled me as an ENTJ (Extraverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging)–or Rational Fieldmarshal according to the other test’s interpretation–just like Hillary Clinton, Napoleon, and some back-in-the-day US presidents.) Dude. I almost wet myself out of fear. Eye-opening and frightening all at once.
• A few days ago I reread the printout of my Clifton StrenghtsFinder “Living Your Strengths” test: in case you’re wondering, my profile is Intellection, Connectedness, Restorative, Learner, Input. Super-dee-duper!
• And finally, I went back over my DISC profile ORCC/MHM administers to every employee (something I am grateful for). High C and High D. I like to think, organize my thoughts, and get things done. No BS please.

I’m piecing together all of this for some reason. I just need to know who I am, where I’m headed, what the heck I like to do, how I go about doing it, and with whom to work alongside. 

If you by chance have a good idea of who I am and what the heck I’m meant to do with my life, please let me know. I’m obviously considering every other opinion out there as it is. Why not seek more valuable input?

p.s. I shall soon write a blog where almost every word has a link to a picture or website. I shall.